February 16, 2011

Differ-ability

I admire Leslie for his positive attitude and outlook even with MS. I was "able" one day and the next day "disabled" due to a brain tumor I didn't know I had. If was discovered one day, removed the next, but left me unable to do the things I was accustomed to doing. I planned a great pity party, but guess what? Nobody came!

I should have known better. I know too much about the love of the Lord to wallow in self-pity. So I can't do what I use to do; but God has given me the ability to do different things - things I never could do before! So I stop saying I have a disability - I have a differ-ability!

And it's great! I've met people I never would have before, discovered hidden talents, made differences in the lives of others. No, I can't claim that everyday has been sunshine and roses, or that I don't occasionally miss the life I had or don't get frustrated about the things I can no longer do. But those times are becoming fewer and fewer.

One important lesson I've learned is humility. I was so self sufficient, divorced, an ex-husband who did not pay child support as ordered. Two children to raise on my own. But through the grace of God, I did it. They are adults now and I had planned the rest of my life out for me.

But then, the illness. All my plans for living on my own, doing for myself, gone. I now have to allow others to help me do even menial task - when I want to do it myself! I always have! But I've learned to be humble, accept love and help from others and just say "thank-you" and not feel ashamed. It's a humbling experience that I didn't know I needed.

However, I thank God for showing me my differ-ability, the different things I can do, the difference I can make.

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