First You Need a Cat

In a village in India there lived a Pandit (Brahmin priest) who was the only educated person in that village. He used to conduct prayers and other Vedhic (religious) rituals for other people at his home.

The Pandit had a cat. Before starting his rituals, he would tie the cat with a rope to a pillar so that it would not wander around the home and disturb him during the rituals.

One day, the Pandit died unexpectedly. Now the villagers had no one to perform the rituals, so they decided to do them with the help of the Pandit's wife. They asked her for instructions. The Pandit's wife began like this...

"First, you need a cat. You have to tie it with a rope to a pillar. Then, you have to....